幽默的英语短文100字 英语幽默故事带翻译100字


幽默的英语短文100字 英语幽默故事带翻译100字


in our daily life, humour is an important part for us。 if you are a humorous person, people will feel that you are an easy-going man, and they will like to chat or make friends with you. staying with a humorous man make people feel comfortable and without pressure. of course there are some people who really dont knwo how to become humorous. maybe sometimes they want to be facetious,but they cant make it well. if you are a person like thies situation, please dont worry, and making real yourself is enough. any way, if a person is very humorous, we can find that he has many friends around him. i hope every can make use of your humor to get many good friends.



1.Do You Know My Work?

One night a hotel caught fire, and the people who were staying in it ran out in their night clothes.

Two men stood outside and looked at the fire.

“Before I came out,” said one,“I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of money. People don't think of money when they're afraid. When anyone leaves paper money in a fire, the fire burns it. So I took all the bills that I could find.No one will be poorer because I took them.”

“You don't know my work,” said the other.

“What is your work?”

“I'm a policeman.

“Oh!” cried the first man. He thought quickly and said,“And do you know my work?”“No,”said the policeman.

“I'm a writer. I'm always telling stories about things that never happened.”



一天晚上,一家旅馆失火,住在这家旅馆里的人穿着睡 衣就跑了出来。









A Bet Two pals are sitting in a pub watching the eleven-'clock news.A reporter comes on about a man threatening to jump from the 20th floor of a downtown building.One friend turns to the other and says,'I'll bet you ten bucks the guy doesn't jump.' 'It's a bet,' agrees his buddy. A few minutes later, the man on the ledge jumps,so the loser hands his pal a $10 bill.'I can't take your money,'his friend admits.'I saw him jump earlier on the six-o'clock news.' 'Me,too,'says the other buddy.'But I didn't think he'd do it again. 打赌 两个好朋友正坐在一家小酒馆内观看十一点的电视新闻。一则新闻报道说,有个男人威胁要从商业区一座大楼的二十层跳下去。一位朋友转身对另一位说道:“我敢赌十块钱,那家伙不会往下跳。” “赌就赌,”他的朋友欣然同意。 几分钟后,站在墙檐上的男人跳了下去,因而赌输的那位交给他的朋友一张十元的钞票。“我不能拿你的钱,”他的朋友承认道,“早在六点的新闻里,我就已见他跳下去了。” “我也是,”另一位说,“可我想他不会再跳了!”



英语幽默:Second language

A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush. She watched the cat, and the cat watched the mice.

Mother mouse barked fiercely, "Woof, woof, woof!" The cat was so terrified that it ran for it's life.

Mother mouse turned to her babies and said, "Now, do you understand the value of a second language?"




Catch a cold 得感冒

During the fight, the boxer swiped the air furiously, but could not hit his opponent.

"How am I doing?" he asked the coach at the end of the round.

"Well, if you keep this up," replied the coach, "he might feel the wind and catch a cold."



Talking clock 会说话的钟

While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock," the man replied. "How's it work?" "Watch," the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning!"


Once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly:"First, you should make sure that he is already dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:"What should I do next?" 两个猎人进森林里打猎,其中一个猎人不慎跌倒,两眼翻白,似已停止呼吸。另一个猎人赶紧拿出手机拨通紧急求助电话。接线员沉着地说:“第一步,要先确定你的朋友已经死亡。”于是,接线员在电话里听到一声枪响,然后听到那猎人接着问:“第二步怎办?”

There was a guy who went into a shop to buy a parrot. There werethree parrots in the shop. One was $5,000; another one, $10,000; and the third one, $30,000. The customer asked the owner, “How come this guy is $5,000? That’s so expensive for this kindof parrot.” The owner said, “Because I have trained him and he can talk.” So the customer asked him, “How about this guy? What can he do that makes him so expensive?” The owner said, “Well, apart from talking, he can also do some amusing actions,like dancing and so on. That’s why he’s so expensive.” Then the customer said, “How about the third one? What canhe do that makes him so expensive?” The owner of the shopsaid, “I don’t know. Normally, I have never heard him talk, nor dance, nor whistle, nor sing, nothing at all! But the other two call him ‘The Boss.’” 老板最大 有个人到一间商店买鹦鹉。店里有三只鹦鹉,其中一只卖五千元,另一只卖一万元,还有一只卖三万元。顾客问老板:「为什么这只要卖五千元?这个价钱对这种鹦鹉来说太贵了!」老板说:「因为我有训练他讲话。」顾客又问:「那这只呢?他会做什么?为什么要卖这么贵?」老板说:「他除了会说话之外,还会表演一些有趣的动作,好比说跳舞等等,所以才卖这么贵。」顾客接着又问:「那第三只呢?他会做什么?为什么要卖这么贵?」老板说:「我不知道。我从没听过他讲话、吹口哨或唱歌,也没看过他跳舞,什么都没有!不过另外两只叫他:『老板!』」

“I'm sorry ,Madam ,but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .” “Twenty d ollars! Why ,I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!” “Yes ,but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .” “对不起,夫人,为您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。” “20美元!为什么?不是说好只要4美元。” “是的,但是你的孩子大喊大叫,把另外四个病人吓跑了。”

I'm Trying to Stop It "Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?" "No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other , so I am trying to stop it." “孩子,你为什么用棉花塞住耳朵?它感染了吗?” “没有,老师。可是你昨天说你告诉我的知识都是一个耳朵里进,一个耳朵里出,所以我要把它堵在里面。”

TAG: 幽默