One day,a little monkey is playing by the well.
He looks in the well and shouts :
“Oh!My god!The moon has fallen into the well!”
An older monkeys runs over, takes a look,and says,
“Goodness me!The moon is really in the water!”
And olderly monkey comes over.
He is very surprised as well and cries out:
“The moon is in the well.”
A group of monkeys run over to the well .
They look at the moon in the well and shout:
“The moon did fall into the well!Come on!Let’get it out!”
Then,the oldest monkey hangs on the tree up side down ,with his feet on the branch .
And he pulls the next monkey’s feet with his hands.
All the other monkeys follow his suit,
And they join each other one by one down to the moon in the well.
Just before they reach the moon,the oldest monkey raises his head and happens to see the moon in the sky,
He yells excitedly “Don’t be so foolish!The moon is still in the sky!”
Who is Stupid?
A teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you''re stupid, stand up!"
Little Johnny then stood up.
The teacher said, "Do you think you''re stupid, Johnny?"
"No, ma''am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
gsgongwm 2008-12-22 11:24:10
A father said to his sons: "Tomorrow your mother is going to bake a pie. Who is going to eat it?"
The oldest son replied: "Father, I'll eat it all!"
The father then said: "Tomorrow I'm going to butcher a pig. Who is going to eat it?"
The same son answered: "Father,I'll eat it all!"
The father added: "Tomorrow, we are going to plough the field. Who is going to plough?"
The oldest son answered again: "It's always me, always me. Now it's someone else's turn to volunteer!"
Dentist: I'm sorry, madam, but I'll have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your son's tooth.
Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction.
Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office.
A child on Christmas time asked for some paper and crayons in order to draw a crib. Eventually the artistic masterpiece was displayed for parental approval. The manager, the shepherds, Jesus and Holy Family wore duly admired.
"But what/'s that in the corner?" asked Mother.
"Oh, that/'s their telly," replied the tot.
调查员:What is your father's name？
调查员:What is your mother's name？
调查员:Are you joking？
小弟:No！！That's my sister！！ I am Kidding！！
When my son was a hign-school sophomore, he got a part-time job sacking groceries at a supermarket. He came home all smiles.
"How was your first day?" I asked.
"It was great, Dad," he replied. "I got to talk to some good-looking girls."
Since Stephen is not very talkative, I asked, "What did you say to them?"
"Do you prefer paper or plastic?" 。
A friend of mine was giving an English lesson to a class of adult who had recently come to live in the United States. After placing quite a number of everyday objects on a table, he asked various members of the class to give him the ruler, the book, the pen and so on. The class went very smoothly and the students seemed interested and serious about the work that they were engaged in until when my friend turned to an Italian student and said, "Give me the keys." The man looked surprised and somewhat at a loss. Seeing this, my friend thought that the student hadn't heard him clearly, so he repeated. "Give me the keys." The Italian shrugged his shoulders. Then, he threw his arms around the teacher's neck and kissed him on both cheeks.。
Who was the first man？ 谁是世界上第一个男人
A teacher said to her class:”Who was the first man?”
“George Washington,” a little boy shouted promptly．
“How do you make out that George Washington was the first man？”asked the teacher，smiling indulgently．
“Because,” said the little boy, “he was first in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen.”
But at this point a larger boy held up his hand. “Well,” said the teacher to him, “who do you think was the first man?”
“I don’t know what his name was, ” said the larger boy, “but I know it wasn’t George Washington, ma’am, because the history book says George Washington married a widow, so, of course, there must have been a man ahead of him.”
There was a guy in a bar, just looking at his drink. He stayed like that for half an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver stepped up next to him, took the drink from the guy, and drank it all down.
The poor man started crying. The truck driver said, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't see a man crying."
"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I was late getting to my office. My boss was outrageous, and fired me. When I left the building to go to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police say they can do nothing. I got a cab to return home, and when I left it, I remembered I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drove away. When I got home, I found my wife in bed with the gardener. I left home and came to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."
英语小故事 3分钟 带中文
he Thirsty Pigeon口渴的鸽子
A PIGEON, oppressed by excessive thirst, saw a goblet of water painted on a signboard. Not supposing it to be only a picture, she flew towards it with a loud whir and unwittingly dashed against the signboard, jarring herself terribly. Having broken her wings by the blow, she fell to the ground, and was caught by one of the bystanders.
Zeal should not outrun discretion.
The Raven and the Swan乌鸦和天鹅
A RAVEN saw a Swan and desired to secure for himself the same beautiful plumage. Supposing that the Swan's splendid white color arose from his washing in the water in which he swam, the Raven left the altars in the neighborhood where he picked up his living, and took up residence in the lakes and pools. But cleansing his feathers as often as he would, he could not change their color, while through want of food he perished.
Change of habit cannot alter Nature.
乌鸦非常羡慕天鹅洁白的羽毛。他猜想天鹅一定是经常洗澡，羽毛才变得如此洁白无 瑕。于是，他毅然离开了他赖以生存的祭坛，来到江湖边。他天天洗刷自己的羽毛，不但一 点都没洗白，反而因缺少食物饥饿而死。
The Goat and the Goatherd 山羊与牧羊人
A GOATHERD had sought to bring back a stray goat to his flock. He whistled and sounded his horn in vain; the straggler paid no attention to the summons. At last the Goatherd threw a stone, and breaking its horn, begged the Goat not to tell his master. The Goat replied, "Why, you silly fellow, the horn will speak though I be silent."
Do not attempt to hide things which cannot be hid.
很多山羊被牧羊人赶到羊圈里。有一只山羊不知在吃什么好东西，单独落在后面。牧羊 人拿起一块石头扔了过去，正巧打断了山羊的一只角。牧羊人吓得请求山羊不要告诉主人， 山羊说：“即使我不说，又怎能隐瞒下去呢？我的角已断了，这是十分明显的事实。”
A MISER sold all that he had and bought a lump of gold, which he buried in a hole in the ground by the side of an old wall and went to look at daily. One of his workmen observed his frequent visits to the spot and decided to watch his movements. He soon discovered the secret of the hidden treasure, and digging down, came to the lump of gold, and stole it. The Miser, on his next visit, found the hole empty and began to tear his hair and to make loud lamentations. A neighbor, seeing him overcome with grief and learning the cause, said, "Pray do not grieve so; but go and take a stone, and place it in the hole, and fancy that the gold is still lying there. It will do you quite the same service; for when the gold was there, you had it not, as you did not make the slightest use of it."
有个守财奴变卖了他所有的家产，换回了金块，并秘密地埋在一个地方。他每天走去看 看他的宝藏。有个在附近放羊的牧人留心观察，知道了真情，趁他走后，挖出金块拿走了。 守财奴再来时，发现洞中的金块没有了，便捶胸痛哭。有个人见他如此悲痛，问明原因后， 说道：“喂，朋友，别再难过了，那块金子虽是你买来的，但并不是你真正拥有的。去拿一 块石头来，代替金块放在洞里，只要你心里想着那是块金子，你就会很高兴。这样与你拥有 真正的金块效果没什么不同。依我之见，你拥有那金块时，也从没用过。”
The Wolf and the Lamb 狼与小羊
WOLF, meeting with a Lamb astray from the fold, resolved not to lay violent hands on him, but to find some plea to justify to the Lamb the Wolf's right to eat him. He thus addressed him:"Sirrah, last year you grossly insulted me." "Indeed," bleated the Lamb in a mournful tone of voice, "I was not then born." Then said the Wolf , "You feed in my pasture." "No, good sir," replied the Lamb, "I have not yet tasted grass." Again said the Wolf, "You drink of my well." "No," exclaimed the Lamb, "I never yet drank water, for as yet my mother's milk is both food and drink to me." Upon which the Wolf seized him and ate him up, saying, "Well! I won't remain supperless, even though you refute every one of my imputations."
The tyrant will always find a pretext for his tyranny.
The Bat and the Weasels蝙蝠与黄鼠狼
A BAT who fell upon the ground and was caught by a Weasel pleaded to be spared his life. The Weasel refused, saying that he was by nature the enemy of all birds. The Bat assured him that he was not a bird, but a mouse, and thus was set free. Shortly afterwards the Bat again fell to the ground and was caught by another Weasel, whom he likewise entreated not to eat him. The Weasel said that he had a special hostility to mice. The Bat assured him that he was not a mouse, but a bat, and thus a second time escaped.
It is wise to turn circumstances to good account.
The Ass and the Grasshopper 驴子与蚱蜢
AN ASS having heard some Grasshoppers chirping, was highly enchanted; and, desiring to possess the same charms of melody, demanded what sort of food they lived on to give them such beautiful voices. They replied, "The dew." The Ass resolved that he would live only upon dew, and in a short time died of hunger.
The Lion and the Mouse 狮子与报恩的老鼠
A LION was awakened from sleep by a Mouse running over his face. Rising up angrily, he caught him and was about to kill him, when the Mouse piteously entreated, saying: "If you would only spare my life, I would be sure to repay your kindness." The Lion laughed and let him go. It happened shortly after this that the Lion was caught by some hunters, who bound him by strong ropes to the ground. The Mouse, recognizing his roar, came and gnawed the rope with his teeth and set him free, exclaiming:
"You ridiculed the idea of my ever being able to help you, expecting to receive from me any repayment of your favor; now you know that it is possible for even a Mouse to con benefits on a Lion."
“你当时嘲笑我，不相信能得到我的报答， 现在可清楚了，老鼠也能报恩。” 这故事说明，时运交替变更，强者也会有需要弱者的时候。
A PIGEON, oppressed by excessive thirst, saw a goblet of water painted on a signboard. Not supposing it to be only a picture, she flew towards it with a loud whir and unwittingly dashed against the signboard, jarring herself terribly. Having broken her wings by the blow, she fell to the ground, and was caught by one of the bystanders. Zeal should not outrun discretion